Maybe that's nothing, but my body didn't agree. I had weird dreams all night.
We've got two weeks until Christmas break. Count 'em. Two. I'm so ready for the break, but even though it's just two weeks, it's two of the most challenging weeks ever, the worst probably being the two weeks before the end of the schoolyear. These kids are totally gone on pictures of XBoxes and new shoes dancing in their heads. I wish that meant that they were always daydreaming, but no it means they're always talking about what they're going to get. But it's ok, we'll make it. They may cry and I may too, but we'll make it. :)
In other news, our house is mouse infested. Our landlords made no mention of this problem when we signed the lease, so it's a bit of an unpleasant surprise. For several weeks now, we've had mice devastating our pantry, chewing through box and bag to get at every dry good possible. But recently they have migrated to our living room, where there seems to be a family living in our fireplace, and upstairs into the bedrooms as well. Being a science/animal person, I don't mind so much, aside from the loss of non-perishable food and the stank of mouse doo everywhere, but my roommates have taken to letting out high-pitched screams whenever one shows itself, which is pretty frequent. It feels sort of like a really awful and lame horror movie is acting itself out in our house. For a plot twist, one of the roommates moves out, leaving the other three even more outnumbered and financially stretched. They're DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
Oh yeah, and one of our roommates is moving out.
This reads like a big bitchfest, which was not my goal. We have had some beautiful snow, and I've taken a couple walks in it. Lake Michigan in the winter is impressive. I'm also in the middle of crocheting a few things as gifts for my family because we're doing the Advent Conspiracy thing where Christians are encouraged to spend less money and time on the commercial aspects of Christmas and instead to put that time and money toward spending quality time with family, making or forgoing gifts, and donating the money you save to people who need it way more. I am looking forward to having our first ever family Christmas in which we won't have to be out the door by 8 to make it to church, so we can sleep in some and enjoy a nice long breakfast after opening presents.
I hope you all have the opportunity to enjoy your Christmas and New Year. I'm planning on enjoying this break more than I have ever enjoyed any Christmas break. Love love and peace peace.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Lunatic Fringe
Is it bad that most days I'm pretty sure the only sane creature in my classroom is a snake? For real. In this past week I had one of my kids grab a girl by the neck (and her mom wanted to press charges), another student got himself stuck inside his locker, a girl slashed a boy with a broken test tube (by accident, but whatever), another joker started screaming for his mother when the (well-announced) fire alarm rang for a fire drill, and half my seventh grade science class exposed themselves to salmonella yesterday. I hope they are safe but it would serve some of them right to get sick.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving in Milwaukee. Not a middle schooler in sight. Excellent.
Anyways, I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving in Milwaukee. Not a middle schooler in sight. Excellent.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Just be me, you, and the dancefloor
Hey, guys.
Sorry it's been a bit, I've been pretty preoccupied with getting started in a new life. Moving is a bitch. :) So is starting a new job. So is getting around in Chicago, which we have to do a fair amount because we live nowhere near to anything as valuable as a department store or grocery store or combination grocery/department store. But I'm happy to be here.
I have three days of school under my belt, and it's been a lot of work. I've basically been yelling for the past three days, given out several detentions, and frowned quite a bit. I hate/am bad at doing all those things. My students are good kids, but they're rowdy as hell. I'm going to have to put a lot of them in detention before they get it, I think. But I've been encouraged by the staff and many of the kids I've gotten to know a little bit so far, so I still have high hopes for this year!
Our neighborhood is pretty rockin'. I'm living in historic Pullman, a neighborhood in Chicago proper, which dates back to the 1880's when the railroads were still the only way to get things around. We're in one of the rowhouses that some of the workers lived in, and the ruins of the old railcar factory are just across the street from us. There's a lot of community building going on here now. We've already been to a block party, we've been invited to yoga every saturday morning, and on Monday there will be some people doing historical re-enactments of Eugene Debs and other historic local union figures to commemorate Labor Day in the park across the street, complete with picnics, live music, the works. There's a farmer who brings his fruits and vegetables to that same park every Wednesday. It's fun and pretty weird. It pretty much always smells like pot (marijuana) and our sixty-two year old neighbor keeps telling us that because we're young we should be having a lot more sex - that's how he did it and he wouldn't change anything. But I like it a lot, and I think everyone should come visit me.
Also, I bought a snake, her name is Paris, and I think she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I'll get pictures up when I can.
Love all of you. If you're in Chicago ever, let me know!
Sorry it's been a bit, I've been pretty preoccupied with getting started in a new life. Moving is a bitch. :) So is starting a new job. So is getting around in Chicago, which we have to do a fair amount because we live nowhere near to anything as valuable as a department store or grocery store or combination grocery/department store. But I'm happy to be here.
I have three days of school under my belt, and it's been a lot of work. I've basically been yelling for the past three days, given out several detentions, and frowned quite a bit. I hate/am bad at doing all those things. My students are good kids, but they're rowdy as hell. I'm going to have to put a lot of them in detention before they get it, I think. But I've been encouraged by the staff and many of the kids I've gotten to know a little bit so far, so I still have high hopes for this year!
Our neighborhood is pretty rockin'. I'm living in historic Pullman, a neighborhood in Chicago proper, which dates back to the 1880's when the railroads were still the only way to get things around. We're in one of the rowhouses that some of the workers lived in, and the ruins of the old railcar factory are just across the street from us. There's a lot of community building going on here now. We've already been to a block party, we've been invited to yoga every saturday morning, and on Monday there will be some people doing historical re-enactments of Eugene Debs and other historic local union figures to commemorate Labor Day in the park across the street, complete with picnics, live music, the works. There's a farmer who brings his fruits and vegetables to that same park every Wednesday. It's fun and pretty weird. It pretty much always smells like pot (marijuana) and our sixty-two year old neighbor keeps telling us that because we're young we should be having a lot more sex - that's how he did it and he wouldn't change anything. But I like it a lot, and I think everyone should come visit me.
Also, I bought a snake, her name is Paris, and I think she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I'll get pictures up when I can.
Love all of you. If you're in Chicago ever, let me know!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
My kind of town
I'm moving to Chicago! You heard it first here! Actually you probably didn't. At least some of you. But I've been given the middle school science position at Roseland Christian School on Chicago's South side. Yes, it is kinda ghetto, and no, I'm not going to become a White Sox fan. I get to teach there next year with one of my best friends, who will be a third grade teacher. I'm really excited about moving to a new place and getting into public transit and things. I've also already begun romanticizing about how my students are going to plant a garden in the middle of Chicago's South side and the community will come around the kids and stop hating each other and the Roseland neighborhood will be a beacon to the world of love and harmony. Or something.
That's really about it. This is huge news for me, but it's pretty simple. I hope the rest of y'alls are doing well! Tell me what's new with you. :)
That's really about it. This is huge news for me, but it's pretty simple. I hope the rest of y'alls are doing well! Tell me what's new with you. :)
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Vengeance from the grave
At the risk of sounding like everyone else in the U.S. right now, regarding cinema entertainment, Iron Man kicks ass. Major ass. Above is the only line I can remember from the Ozzy song, which obviously gets much further into the story of Iron Man than this movie does. Or maybe the Oz man is just crazy.
No Kansas City. The school where I was hoping to go finally got back to me, saying they'd filled the position, and not with me. I sent a quick email to another school there which had posted an opening, but it's apparently just not meant to be for me next year. So now I wait to hear back from Korea, New Mexico, and a new school I just talked to in Chicago. Chicago would be an awesome location with regards to friends and family in the area, and I already have visions of the community garden I want to plant at my inner city school. But I do have a tendency to get ahead of myself.
My church is meeting on Tuesday, regarding voting to shut down. I do think it's the best thing at this point. I feel really badly for my parents, though. True, I grew up in this church, and once it's gone I'm no longer a member of any church (aside from the Church, of course), but I'm leaving soon. A very high percentage of the social interaction my parents have revolves around church activities or at least friends made at church. That seems to be sort of what happens after you get out of the school loop, I guess, unless you work at a place that really enables you to make meaningful, long-lasting friendships. But Mom and Dad have a bit of an uphill struggle with regards to figuring out what's next for them. I'm praying.
I get to go to Chicago this weekend! My sister is graduating and since she's not coming back home after grad, we're all going out there to watch it happen. I could care less about the ceremony, but the prospect of getting out of town and seeing new things and different people for a while makes me virtually dizzy with glee. Despite living in a city of almost a million people, I'm getting pretty bad cabin fever. Probably doesn't help that the temperature today got up to 97.
It's so crazy to think I've been out of college for a year. I think I know less about what I want now than I did then.
No Kansas City. The school where I was hoping to go finally got back to me, saying they'd filled the position, and not with me. I sent a quick email to another school there which had posted an opening, but it's apparently just not meant to be for me next year. So now I wait to hear back from Korea, New Mexico, and a new school I just talked to in Chicago. Chicago would be an awesome location with regards to friends and family in the area, and I already have visions of the community garden I want to plant at my inner city school. But I do have a tendency to get ahead of myself.
My church is meeting on Tuesday, regarding voting to shut down. I do think it's the best thing at this point. I feel really badly for my parents, though. True, I grew up in this church, and once it's gone I'm no longer a member of any church (aside from the Church, of course), but I'm leaving soon. A very high percentage of the social interaction my parents have revolves around church activities or at least friends made at church. That seems to be sort of what happens after you get out of the school loop, I guess, unless you work at a place that really enables you to make meaningful, long-lasting friendships. But Mom and Dad have a bit of an uphill struggle with regards to figuring out what's next for them. I'm praying.
I get to go to Chicago this weekend! My sister is graduating and since she's not coming back home after grad, we're all going out there to watch it happen. I could care less about the ceremony, but the prospect of getting out of town and seeing new things and different people for a while makes me virtually dizzy with glee. Despite living in a city of almost a million people, I'm getting pretty bad cabin fever. Probably doesn't help that the temperature today got up to 97.
It's so crazy to think I've been out of college for a year. I think I know less about what I want now than I did then.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
All I want is to have my peace of mind
In my recent attempts to redefine myself, which have included getting bangs, joining a gym, doing my laundry every two weeks (rather than every three), and learning how to maintain my own vehicle, I also got myself a new phone which also serves as an MP3 player. So now I'm one of the cool chicks at the gym with her earbuds in as she sweats away on an elliptical machine. But the joke's on everyone else. I'm sweatin' to Boston, Regina Spektor, and The Black Eyed Peas.
I'm still working on jobs for next year. Right now the one that's acting most interested is the position with Rehoboth - I interview again with them tomorrow. Apparently this one is going to be more formal? I'm nervous. But I'm still holding out for the KC job, and Justin Van Zee has recently offered me an opportunity to take my business to Korea, so we'll see what happens. As I sit here in my bedroom and sweat under the influences of a swamp cooler because it's already 95 out here, I'm coming to realize that I really can't stay in Tucson forever. Love love love LOVE the place, but it's not somewhere that people come to do great things with their lives. It's more of a place where people come for a while and figure out what great things they could be doing with their lives, then go do those things elsewhere.
This morning my church had a meeting to decide what our future direction should be. We've gotten to the point where there aren't enough members to really financially support the church, but more importantly we the members are divided on how this church could move forward, and so no progress has been made in several years. My parents project, and I tend to agree, that there really isn't a happy ending. Most likely we will have to close our doors and walk away with our heads up, unless people decide that it would be better to continue to drag ourselves along until we're forced to acknowledge the truth and give up, with a last rattling breath and death twitch.
My parents and I were talking about it with some friends over lunch today, and it is remarkable how relatively ineffective the Reformed denominations have been in Arizona. It's obvious in CRCs in Phoenix and ours in Tucson, in the fact that there are not any other expressly Reformed churches in Tucson, in the fact that most Presbyterian churches are simply absorbing each others' leftovers, rather than bringing in new believers, in the limited impact the Reformed University Fellowship on the university's campus is having, in the fact that most graduates from Reformed colleges are not going to Reformed churches down here... It's a little puzzling, because, and one of our non-Reformed friends said it this afternoon, Reformed theology is a huge comfort. It's solid and well-organized and Biblical. But Reformed denominations are working on making themselves completely irrelevant in a world that is becoming more and more like Tucson, Arizona. Everyone is moderately transient, multi-cultural, self-involved, and lonely. The Reformed churches have nothing for these people, even though Reformed theology holds a great deal for them. It's sad, but at the same time it's a challenge to the young (in age or in heart) of this tradition to find new ways of making a Reformed perspective in life matter to the people they have around them. Where to start? I'm not quite sure yet.
I'm going to go fix myself some creamy potato soup I made myself yesterday because I'm either sick or have allergies from hell, and regardless I feel like shee-yet. Then maybe I'll pour myself a giant rum and Dr. Pepper. Who knows! The sky is the limit.
I'm still working on jobs for next year. Right now the one that's acting most interested is the position with Rehoboth - I interview again with them tomorrow. Apparently this one is going to be more formal? I'm nervous. But I'm still holding out for the KC job, and Justin Van Zee has recently offered me an opportunity to take my business to Korea, so we'll see what happens. As I sit here in my bedroom and sweat under the influences of a swamp cooler because it's already 95 out here, I'm coming to realize that I really can't stay in Tucson forever. Love love love LOVE the place, but it's not somewhere that people come to do great things with their lives. It's more of a place where people come for a while and figure out what great things they could be doing with their lives, then go do those things elsewhere.
This morning my church had a meeting to decide what our future direction should be. We've gotten to the point where there aren't enough members to really financially support the church, but more importantly we the members are divided on how this church could move forward, and so no progress has been made in several years. My parents project, and I tend to agree, that there really isn't a happy ending. Most likely we will have to close our doors and walk away with our heads up, unless people decide that it would be better to continue to drag ourselves along until we're forced to acknowledge the truth and give up, with a last rattling breath and death twitch.
My parents and I were talking about it with some friends over lunch today, and it is remarkable how relatively ineffective the Reformed denominations have been in Arizona. It's obvious in CRCs in Phoenix and ours in Tucson, in the fact that there are not any other expressly Reformed churches in Tucson, in the fact that most Presbyterian churches are simply absorbing each others' leftovers, rather than bringing in new believers, in the limited impact the Reformed University Fellowship on the university's campus is having, in the fact that most graduates from Reformed colleges are not going to Reformed churches down here... It's a little puzzling, because, and one of our non-Reformed friends said it this afternoon, Reformed theology is a huge comfort. It's solid and well-organized and Biblical. But Reformed denominations are working on making themselves completely irrelevant in a world that is becoming more and more like Tucson, Arizona. Everyone is moderately transient, multi-cultural, self-involved, and lonely. The Reformed churches have nothing for these people, even though Reformed theology holds a great deal for them. It's sad, but at the same time it's a challenge to the young (in age or in heart) of this tradition to find new ways of making a Reformed perspective in life matter to the people they have around them. Where to start? I'm not quite sure yet.
I'm going to go fix myself some creamy potato soup I made myself yesterday because I'm either sick or have allergies from hell, and regardless I feel like shee-yet. Then maybe I'll pour myself a giant rum and Dr. Pepper. Who knows! The sky is the limit.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl
One of my students has me returning to my roots and really appreciating Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd again. She's an unusual girl, as her other fave bands include Insane Clown Posse and The Cottonmouth Kings. Whatev.
Applications continue for me. Yes Mel, I did apply for a job at Rehoboth, and it's funny that they would grill you on me, because we really don't know each other at all. Hmm. I had an interview with the school in Kansas City on Monday and it went REALLY well. That's got to be my number one right now. It's exciting and scary because if I were to take it, they're actually working on starting a high school, so I'd only have 9th graders, and the next year 9th and 10th graders, and so on. I'd basically be building their science department. Crazy! But awesome? We'll see what happens with all that.
My sister and her bf from MI were in town for Spring Break last week and we did all sorts of Tucson stuff. Things I learned:
- I just can't like baseball. Spring training games are pleasant, but not interesting at all.
- I also can't tan AT ALL. Reference above spring training game.
- My medical billing job really is as boring as I think it is. Taking a break from it was heaven.
- To someone who hasn't been here before, experiencing the Sonoran desert is as exotic to them as the Nicaraguan rainforest was to me. I forget how different it is down here. Sahuaros, diamondback rattlesnakes, and javelina are my peeps.
- I will never have a good NCAA tournament bracket. I pick all the wrong upsets.
- Some DJ produced "The Grey Album" - a mix of The White Album by the Beatles and The Black Album by Jay Z. It's actually really good.
- Spring Break is a lot more awesome when you're still in school.
Word to all you out there who are ready for a change.
Applications continue for me. Yes Mel, I did apply for a job at Rehoboth, and it's funny that they would grill you on me, because we really don't know each other at all. Hmm. I had an interview with the school in Kansas City on Monday and it went REALLY well. That's got to be my number one right now. It's exciting and scary because if I were to take it, they're actually working on starting a high school, so I'd only have 9th graders, and the next year 9th and 10th graders, and so on. I'd basically be building their science department. Crazy! But awesome? We'll see what happens with all that.
My sister and her bf from MI were in town for Spring Break last week and we did all sorts of Tucson stuff. Things I learned:
- I just can't like baseball. Spring training games are pleasant, but not interesting at all.
- I also can't tan AT ALL. Reference above spring training game.
- My medical billing job really is as boring as I think it is. Taking a break from it was heaven.
- To someone who hasn't been here before, experiencing the Sonoran desert is as exotic to them as the Nicaraguan rainforest was to me. I forget how different it is down here. Sahuaros, diamondback rattlesnakes, and javelina are my peeps.
- I will never have a good NCAA tournament bracket. I pick all the wrong upsets.
- Some DJ produced "The Grey Album" - a mix of The White Album by the Beatles and The Black Album by Jay Z. It's actually really good.
- Spring Break is a lot more awesome when you're still in school.
Word to all you out there who are ready for a change.
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
I wanna make love in this club
In the spirit of Lent, the season in which we find ourselves, I thought it appropriate to title my latest post in accordance with Usher's latest single. So hot right now...
I'm in the middle of skipping Bible study at the moment in order to send out emails of inquiry to different schools regarding teaching next school year. Locations about which I am inquiring? Timothy Christian School in Chicago, two Westminster Christian Academies - one in Kansas City and one in St. Louis, Calvin Christian in Escondido, CA (that one's for you, Dave!), and international schools in Cambodia, the Czech Republic, Guatemala, Hungary, Mauritius (which I cannot find on a map), Mexico City, Nicaragua, Tanzania, and Thailand. I don't really know what I want yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not in Tucson, so I guess I'm looking for somewhere else to wander. I'm kinda hoping that what I want is in Prague, because that would be THE coolest. But I'm excited and terrified regardless of what is going to happen.
Jeffy, Manhattan Christian was hiring too, and I thought that might be a little close to you, but I decided that I wasn't ready to be buried in small town Montana. Unless we decide to fall in love and get married, since we both want to be in love. I could be down with that, but let me know soon, before MC hires someone else! :)
Speaking of marriage, I helped one of my best friends get married a couple weekends ago, and decided that maybe weddings aren't as horrible as I've held them to be for the past 10 years of my life. Renee's was short, sweet, meaningful, and fun. Plus I looked positively fierce in my bridesmaid dress. Fierce = hot, in case you were confused. But anyway, Renee and Brandon were so low-maintenance throughout the weekend and created an environment at their wedding in which all of us there could really celebrate their love and enjoy each others' company. Plus, I hung out with her last night and she just seems so happy... So yay for love and marriage, when done right.
In other news, I still really don't care about the presidential elections coming up. Does this make me a bad American citizen and a little less of a responsible adult? Probably. Don't tell anyone important.
Oh, I've decided as well that if teaching really doesn't pan out, I want to open up a bakery/restaurant/coffee shop and call it @thebakery and serve people all of the food I've been learning to make deliciously. Seriously guys, I just made some beef stew this weekend that is so excellent I can hardly believe it, and I'm resisting the temptation to take a break and try making some blueberry muffins rather than continuing to apply for jobs. If any of y'all (Katy, Steph, whoever) are interested in joining this enterprise (not the Enterprise, Reid, though you are also welcome to join that I guess) I'll keep you posted on my post-college identity crisis.
Love and kisses, and in all seriousness be mindful of this Lenten season and what it signifies!
I'm in the middle of skipping Bible study at the moment in order to send out emails of inquiry to different schools regarding teaching next school year. Locations about which I am inquiring? Timothy Christian School in Chicago, two Westminster Christian Academies - one in Kansas City and one in St. Louis, Calvin Christian in Escondido, CA (that one's for you, Dave!), and international schools in Cambodia, the Czech Republic, Guatemala, Hungary, Mauritius (which I cannot find on a map), Mexico City, Nicaragua, Tanzania, and Thailand. I don't really know what I want yet, but I'm pretty sure it's not in Tucson, so I guess I'm looking for somewhere else to wander. I'm kinda hoping that what I want is in Prague, because that would be THE coolest. But I'm excited and terrified regardless of what is going to happen.
Jeffy, Manhattan Christian was hiring too, and I thought that might be a little close to you, but I decided that I wasn't ready to be buried in small town Montana. Unless we decide to fall in love and get married, since we both want to be in love. I could be down with that, but let me know soon, before MC hires someone else! :)
Speaking of marriage, I helped one of my best friends get married a couple weekends ago, and decided that maybe weddings aren't as horrible as I've held them to be for the past 10 years of my life. Renee's was short, sweet, meaningful, and fun. Plus I looked positively fierce in my bridesmaid dress. Fierce = hot, in case you were confused. But anyway, Renee and Brandon were so low-maintenance throughout the weekend and created an environment at their wedding in which all of us there could really celebrate their love and enjoy each others' company. Plus, I hung out with her last night and she just seems so happy... So yay for love and marriage, when done right.
In other news, I still really don't care about the presidential elections coming up. Does this make me a bad American citizen and a little less of a responsible adult? Probably. Don't tell anyone important.
Oh, I've decided as well that if teaching really doesn't pan out, I want to open up a bakery/restaurant/coffee shop and call it @thebakery and serve people all of the food I've been learning to make deliciously. Seriously guys, I just made some beef stew this weekend that is so excellent I can hardly believe it, and I'm resisting the temptation to take a break and try making some blueberry muffins rather than continuing to apply for jobs. If any of y'all (Katy, Steph, whoever) are interested in joining this enterprise (not the Enterprise, Reid, though you are also welcome to join that I guess) I'll keep you posted on my post-college identity crisis.
Love and kisses, and in all seriousness be mindful of this Lenten season and what it signifies!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Squeaky swings and tall grass
Remember that scene from a particular Family Guy episode, when Peter, Cleveland, Quagmire, and Joe walk into a karaoke bar and sing "Don't Stop Believin'", and the whole town is drawn into their musical aura, because, let's face it, who doesn't love that song, especially when it's sung by amateurs? Well, I lost my karaoke virginity to Steve Perry and the rest of Journey the other night. It really is a magical song to stand up and sing in front of a bunch of drunks.
I've been finding myself really lonely of late, in a weird way. Not because I have nothing to do and no one around to care about me. I love my roommates, and they love me, and we spend a lot of time together. My parents are in town and wish they could see me more often. There are plenty of other people in town to spend quality time with, and I do that. I guess I'm missing spending time with people I simply can't spend time with, due to distance. I also wish I could be with those I care about who are lonely because they don't have too many people around who care about them. That hurts me the most, knowing that a friend is in need and being unable to do anything about it.
I'm also lonely for certainty. I miss knowing what's coming next. Not in a mundane sense, but in simply in knowing that I am working toward a goal, rather than working toward finding a goal to work toward. I had that through school, working toward getting a degree and moving on with the rest of my life. Now I'm neck deep in the rest of my life, but don't really have any idea what the rest of my life is about yet. I know this isn't a new feeling, not even to my own experience, but it's really hit me hard in the past few weeks. Being neck deep in anything and not having a plan for either getting out or submerging is an uncomfortable spot. My recurring fantasy of late has been finding a way of becoming independently wealthy somehow (inventing a new cookie, finding a cheap way to implement solar power, starting my own indie band) then spending the rest of my life on a beach in Sonora, Mexico, teaching the children of Mexico how to be marine biologists so together they can save the Gulf of California.
I also want a boyfriend. I said it. Lame and far too typical, but true.
For this week, however, my main goal is to examine myself in the light of Ephesians 4:17-32, confess, and seek to change the things in my life that passage brings out. And maybe work a bit harder to stop ending my sentences with prepositions, which I've done a LOT in this post, and probably none of you really care about.
I've been finding myself really lonely of late, in a weird way. Not because I have nothing to do and no one around to care about me. I love my roommates, and they love me, and we spend a lot of time together. My parents are in town and wish they could see me more often. There are plenty of other people in town to spend quality time with, and I do that. I guess I'm missing spending time with people I simply can't spend time with, due to distance. I also wish I could be with those I care about who are lonely because they don't have too many people around who care about them. That hurts me the most, knowing that a friend is in need and being unable to do anything about it.
I'm also lonely for certainty. I miss knowing what's coming next. Not in a mundane sense, but in simply in knowing that I am working toward a goal, rather than working toward finding a goal to work toward. I had that through school, working toward getting a degree and moving on with the rest of my life. Now I'm neck deep in the rest of my life, but don't really have any idea what the rest of my life is about yet. I know this isn't a new feeling, not even to my own experience, but it's really hit me hard in the past few weeks. Being neck deep in anything and not having a plan for either getting out or submerging is an uncomfortable spot. My recurring fantasy of late has been finding a way of becoming independently wealthy somehow (inventing a new cookie, finding a cheap way to implement solar power, starting my own indie band) then spending the rest of my life on a beach in Sonora, Mexico, teaching the children of Mexico how to be marine biologists so together they can save the Gulf of California.
I also want a boyfriend. I said it. Lame and far too typical, but true.
For this week, however, my main goal is to examine myself in the light of Ephesians 4:17-32, confess, and seek to change the things in my life that passage brings out. And maybe work a bit harder to stop ending my sentences with prepositions, which I've done a LOT in this post, and probably none of you really care about.
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Shine on you crazy diamond
Like, whoa. It's been a while guys.
I'd write an update regarding what's been going on with me, but really nothing much has changed, and reading life updates are really boring, so on to the interesting, witty reparte...
Shoot, I don't have any. I guess a survey-type entry will have to suffice.
Last night I went to one of the diveyest dive bars ever, which was of course equipped with karaoke equipment. I was bummed because I wanted to sing, but didn't know what to do. So, for all of you fun kids out there, next time I go to a karaoke bar, what should I sing? And how intoxicated should I be? And on what sort of beverage? Maybe that will keep you busy.
I'm also interested to hear peoples' thoughts on the Iowa caucus. Why, for the life of me, they consider the opinions of Iowans to be representative of the rest of the country, I cannot imagine.
Stephie, I wish you the best in Meh-hee-ko. Maybe maybe maybe I will be fortunate enough to join you down there at some point.
Time for tea!
I'd write an update regarding what's been going on with me, but really nothing much has changed, and reading life updates are really boring, so on to the interesting, witty reparte...
Shoot, I don't have any. I guess a survey-type entry will have to suffice.
Last night I went to one of the diveyest dive bars ever, which was of course equipped with karaoke equipment. I was bummed because I wanted to sing, but didn't know what to do. So, for all of you fun kids out there, next time I go to a karaoke bar, what should I sing? And how intoxicated should I be? And on what sort of beverage? Maybe that will keep you busy.
I'm also interested to hear peoples' thoughts on the Iowa caucus. Why, for the life of me, they consider the opinions of Iowans to be representative of the rest of the country, I cannot imagine.
Stephie, I wish you the best in Meh-hee-ko. Maybe maybe maybe I will be fortunate enough to join you down there at some point.
Time for tea!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
