Tuesday, June 20, 2006

My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talking

Hey kids.
Big news - I got a cell phone.
Yep, that's right. Now I'm always accessible. 520-784-3908.
If you are a creepy person I don't know and you try this number, I will find you and stomp you in the uvula. They will never find your body. You've been warned...
If you are a friend with my best interests in mind, feel free to call. Verizon calls are free, and otherwise there's nights and weekends.
I also really want jicama right now.
And I miss Nicaragua.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

I'll hold your heart when times get rough

Dear faithful readers -
Just so you know, this whole not-posting for over a month thing was just to test you all in your love for me. You all pass with flying colors, and I sleep well at night knowing that I have sixteen comments on this last post.
I actually haven't posted in so long because I wanted to be able to say that I got a job, and it's taken me this long. I don't know how the rest of you do it, but it took me a month to find a job in this place. &%$!@#&$.... Anyways, I'm working at a deli, making sandwiches, scooping potato salad, and dishing up casseroles. I may also get two more jobs in the next few days, one as an overnight care provider for an elderly man (which makes me a wonderful person) and one as a cashier in a pet supply store (which makes me desperate for funds).
I'm also in an early morning math class for the month of June, which sucks with a capital SUX. It's three hours of class, with two hours of homework, four days a week. Poop.
Anyways, enough about boring things. Let's talk about exciting things that have happened since we last talked:
- I had two separate conversations about phallic symbols in the space of twelve hours, neither of which I started.
- I worked yesterday with a guy who reminded me of Goldberg from the Mighty Ducks movies. Except he wasn't funny.
- I went iceblocking, which is always awesome, except when all of the grass is dead.
- I have become the Trivial Pursuit champion of the world.
- I witnessed a knife fight at a bus stop on the way home from church.
- I babysat a dachshund puppy, who was the cutest thing ever, but he kept pooping on my carpet.
- I egged Reid, Seth, and Everett's house.
- I talked to Rachel Palmer about being engaged.
- I talked to Tony Blair about being Prime Minister.
Some of these are lies, but I'm not telling you which ones. The truth is stranger than fiction. Love you, kiddos. Now I have to go to class.