My parents and youngest sister Deborah are gone this week, getting Deborah settled in to be a freshman at Calvin College. It's been harder for me than I thought, partially, I think, because I'm imagining Deborah doing all the fun, go-to-college things while I'm realizing that I will never do those things again. Dordt starts classes tomorrow and I won't be there. It's not a devastating reality to me. But it is a strange one.
Watched part of a movie last night titled Lightspeed. It's a comic book movie, the character created by Stan Lee, whose successes include Spiderman. His successes do not include Lightspeed. It's not so much a bad movie as it is a dreadfully boring movie. Goodness knows I've loved me some bad movies, but boring movies are the worst. Especially when I'm slightly buzzed and irritatingly impatient.
It's also been four and a half months since I've graduated, and though I've found good employment, I have made no further attempts to figure out what's happening after this year with me. I think I still want to go overseas and teach, or something of that nature. At least I think I think I do. But my motivation to get that ball rolling is nonexistent. Possibly I'm impeded by limited Internet access, but I don't really think that's it. Perhaps the fact that I'm making money right now is coaxing me into a complacency with what I do, even though I'm sure I don't want to do this for more than a year. I think I'm also a little afraid to simply pick up and leave for a year, since I've invested a lot of time, work, and love into people and projects here in this country. But when I hear about things going on elsewhere my heart burns to be a part of an experience like that. Dunno. Despite it's being Scriptural, the idea that "the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" seems rather cliche. For me, I think it's more that my spirit wants to be willing, but my flesh is lazy.
I wish there was a farmer's market close to my house. I would buy fresh produce weekly, pile it all into the basket on the front of my bike, and ride back home smiling merrily. If I had a bike.
This post has been brought to you by my stream-0f-conscious thought process. My apologies.
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8 comments:
First of all, can I marry into your family somehow?
Secondly, I think it would be amazing if you visited Deborah this semester(and subsequently me).
Thirdly, I'm applying to grad school at ASU. So if your complacency latches on for a couple more years, well, that's all right with me.
Fourthly, I sprained my sternocleidomastoid muscle on a roller coaster yesterday. Would this be awesome?
Do you have an email address, Bethany?
Do you know Deborah's? Send please.
I understand that Deborah has met and become friends with Jenni, daughter of Brad and Kathy DeBoer. Nice.
Yay for stream-0f-conscious thoughts!
OH Bethie, I do like reading your blogs. I like that phrase "streams of conscious thoughts" I'm just sitting the office about two leave in 20 min and though I wonder what bethany is thinking so I checked your blog.
If you feel like you should teach overseas do it!!! Start looking online and looking at schools in other countries and email for info. Do you care to work in Thailand? lol. I love it here and I know it won't be the only country I'll teach in. If you feel there's a particular country you would want to teach at, tell me and I'll ask around. I miss you.take care
i just realized my comment as many mistakes in it. This is probably due to the lack of sleep and extreme hunger I am experiencing. sorry it should be "sitting IN the office" and "TO" not two and "THOUGHT" not though. I figure I would fix my mistakes since I know your a critic and I can't be as perfect as a writer like you.
that last little bit about the bike made me laugh. if you didn't get my facebook message yet, i have a blog now too
Lightspeed sounds like a good MST3K candidate.
Your NY Mets-lovin history professor back at Dordt wants to know: How is that endowed chair coming along? I'm waiting on an ETA!
Hope all is going well
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