All things go, all things go

I finally caved and got the new blogger, although I think I was forced to. It just happened. I have a sneaking suspicion that the new blogger is run by the man. It's hard to stick it to the man when he runs your blog. Unless you use...........code? Or Jimi Hendrix lyrics? Or are those the same thing?

I'm back in IA for the week, and it's freakin' cold here. That's all I'm going to complain about. Otherwise it's been great seeing people and doing stuff and talking about how I still don't want to face the future. I like people here.

So in my conversations here the past few days, I think I'm beginning to recognize the reason for my hesitation to start moving forward (by doing important things like filling out applications and sitting interviews). My problem is that I love teaching students, and I love the relationships I am able to develop with them, but I do not particularly like schools. It's part of my general aversion to institutions, I guess, but I hate the politics and bureaucracy and kowtowing to administrators who do not make good decisions on things and dealing with other teachers who are annoying or intimidating or just plain weird. So my options are to either find the perfect school which will let me do things my way, for the most part, or to do something else for a while, until I lose my wild-eyed idealism and settle for something that pays slightly more than minimum wage. Gah! I'm really struggling with the extent to which I can live by the promise that "tomorrow will take care of itself" while still being responsible to use the mind God gave me to make decisions and step into the unknown with purpose, rather than stumbling into it backwards.

P.S. If you don't know what a kowtow is, look it up. It will help flesh out your world history knowledge and give you something in common with one billion Chinese.